Thinking Of You
by courthale
Summary: One Shot "It’s been 3 years since he left. He was the one I thought I would spend my life with. The one I gave my all to." Edward never came back in New Moon and Bella tries to move on with Jake. She deals with her loss through song.


**Inspired by the Katie Perry song of the same name. I think it would be best to listen to the song while she sings it. Makes it more affective. This is just a one shot for fun. Not smut. **

**Vampires. Takes place three years after Edward left in New Moon and Bella is with Jake. Bella waited for Jake to go cliff diving and Alice never saw her jump. **

**But did she truly move on?**

**Thinking of You**

It's been 3 years since he left. He was the one I thought I would spend my life with. The one I gave my all to, and he just threw it back in my face. He said that I needed to move on and find someone better than him. What he didn't know was that there was no one better than him. I tried to move on. I tried to forget but I too was scared to. I was scared of remembering and breaking down. I knew once I let the memories flood back in I would break down completely.

I did have one ray of sunshine, Jacob. He was my rock. He healed my heart as best he could and I was thankful to him for that. He didn't heal the hole completely but he definitely made life worth living again. But it's not the same.

He's not him.

I try to be with Jake with all I am, but I can't. He was my all. My lifeline, my air, my drug. It wasn't healthy I know that but I can't be without him and be whole.

"Bells?" Jake brought me out of my thoughts. We were moving today. I stayed behind to complete my associates at a community college to be close to him and now we were moving to Seattle to go to U dub. I was ready to get out of Forks, everywhere I looked I still saw him. I even make myself go to our places.

Our meadow.

Their home.

I visit only to have the hole rip open a little bit again. When I found out what Jake was I was relieved to have him, especially after Laurent and Victoria came for me. I knew he would protect me. He would be my savior.

"I'm ready." I said and grabbed my purse than his hand to go out to the truck. We were taking our last load of things to our tiny apartment in Seattle.

"Bye dad." I hugged him and he gave a sad wave.

"Take care of her Jake." He said as his shook his hand.

"With my life sir." He said with complete sincerity. That was the one thing Charlie was happy about, Jake and I together instead of him and me. I saw the relieve in Charlie when Jake came into my life. He was my sun and took me away from the darkness.

--

We had been in Seattle for about two months now. I found a nice little coffee shop that Jake didn't know about and I got to sing and read the poetry I wrote for _him_. I knew it would break his heart to know. But I knew that a part of him knew I wasn't able to completely give my whole heart to him either. It was okay with him though. He was just glad to have some of me. I hated to take it from him to have someone who loved him as much as he loved me, but he wouldn't hear it.

So, here I stood on a Wednesday night in front of a small crowd wanting to hear me sing. I didn't think I was that good but it was therapeutic nonetheless. I nodded to the house band and started to strum my guitar. The words were the most true and came from my broken heart.

**Thinking of You**

Comparisons are easily turned

Once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed

You said move on

Where do I go

I guess second best

Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night?

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

I closed mine and a lone tear fell.

You're like an Indian summer

In the middle of winter

Like a hard candy

With a surprise center

How do I get better?

Once I've had the best

You said there's

Tons of fish in the water

So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in

I was disgusted with myself

I could almost feel his lips against mine like it was yesterday.

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night?

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into...

Topaz was what I saw when I closed my eyes again.

You're the best

And yes I do regret

How I could let myself

Let you go

Now the lesson's learned

I touched it I was burned

Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night?

Oh I wish that I

I saw someone step into the door and it looked familiar but the lights were too bright. They stood there then moved closer. My eyes locked with the ones of topaz and I almost couldn't breath. But I knew I had to finish. I had to show him how much he hurt me. He had to feel all I felt. I got more into the song and sang it with more feeling.

Was looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes

Oh won't you walk through

And bust in the door

And take me away

Oh no more mistakes

Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

stay....

I heard the applause but my mind was on the figure standing in the crowd. I was frozen to my spot. He looked like he was in so much pain.

_Good_, my vindictive side thought. _He should feel it._

_Why is he here?_ Was the other side of my brain.

I finished with my eyes shut tightly praying two prayers. One wishing that this were a dream and the other praying it wasn't. I opened my eyes and saw him still there but also Jake coming in through the door.

"NO!" I yelled and ran to his shaking form. "Jake stop!" He went to punch Edward but he was faster. When he ducked Jake hit the wall instead. Edward backed up out of the way and was going for the door.

"Not so fast." Jake ran after him. When we were outside Jake ran towards the alley in the direction of his scent and I just stood in front completely stunned.

"Bella." I heard a velvet whisper.

"Please don't be a dream." I closed my eyes and whispered to myself. "Not another hallucination. It's too real." I felt his cold touch on my arm and opened my eyes to see his burning a bright honey color

"I'm really here." He said and took my face in his hands. I felt the tears fall and didn't know how to stop them. He looked to the right and I followed. Jake was standing there shaking all over.

"Hands off, bloodsucker." Jake said from his spot. "She's mine now." He yelled. I was stunned.

"I don't belong to anyone." I shouted back. "Never have, never will." Lie. I will always belong to the bronze haired god in front of me. He looked to me apologetically.

"I'm just trying to protect you Bella. I love you." He said softly. "don't you love me?" He questioned with doubt that I did.

"Don't be ridiculous Jake. You know the answer to that," I reprimanded him.

"Bella…." Edward said a pained whisper.

"Don't Edward. You left me and told me to move on. I was willing to spend forever with you and you threw it back in my face like I was nothing. Jake helped me." I said to him. He turned to leave but I stopped him.

"Bella." I heard Jake whisper.

"Go home and cool down. I'll be there in a bit." I told him sternly. He was about to argue but decided against it with the glare I gave him. He walked to me and pulled me into his arms. He tilted my head upwards and gave me a light but lingering kiss.

"Please come home to me. I love you." He whispered in desperation. Then he was gone.

And so was I.

--

**Just a little one shot! The song totally reminded me of the whole situation with JXBXE. **

**Make up your own little ending. Not really going to continue. I just heard the song and was inspired. **

**If you read my other stories, sorry, but updates will be slower. Things are picking up this semester and I have focus on school. Thank you for all your patience.**

**With love to all,**

**courthale**


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